A Journal entry, made Public

This is a piece I’m writing after a long, long time. The past few weeks have been draining enough. So, right now, I just feel like penning down whatever has been going on in my mind.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the after feel of things. In talking of after-feel, I do not mean the material after feel. I’m here in talking of it, referring to the feeling you have after something happens. The moment after the moment. Many a times, we feel, or at least try to convince ourselves, that we are feeling, great at the moment. But, after the moment has passed, later when we remember it, it all feels weird, uneasy, and strangely unhappy, all leading us to wonder, how could we have felt good at that time.

But, at the same time, there are moments, when we just feel calm and comforted in the moment, but the mere memory of the moment later awakens a giddily strong happiness.

Ah! The strangeness of life!

Well, the same applies to people as well. Some leave you feeling strange and empty, even though they acted on their best face with you, while some leave you with a warm, soft glow in your heart even though they did nothing more than just ‘existing’ with you.

The latter category is incredibly precious and hard to come by. Just hold on them when you find one. For that, is incredibly important. Finding the right people to be with. Finding those sunshine people who make you feel loved, cared for, important, respected and happy. Finding the ones who are ready to be with you not just when you are fun and cheerful, but also when you’re being difficult, and unreasonably grumpy. The ones who are ready to sit calmly by your side and listen to all the self-deprecating things you’ve been drowning yourself in till you’re ready to let go of all of it and take a deep breath. Find the ones you can be your true crazy self with. Finding such people isn’t going to be easy, but when you do, be sure to hold on to them. Be a baby koala if need be. Just don’t let them go.

At the same time, in hoping for the right people to turn up, don’t keep forgiving the nonsensical ones. It is important to shut off toxic people. The ones who make you feel unwanted, unimportant, just another human, or even ugly, unattractive, stupid, weird, or embarrassing. It’s okay to forgive once in a while. But when anyone repeatedly, unreasonably, casually triggers your self-doubts, it is important to keep yourself at the topmost priority. Else you might lose yourself, I’m afraid.

Not that our life is completely determined by the people we spend it with (though a large portion of it is). Life is much more than that.

Live. Live, my friend! Live for the soft early morning breeze playing with your hair. Live to see the warm sunshine filtering through the leaves against a placid blue sky. Live for the aroma of fresh hand-beaten coffee on your work desk. Live for the petals that blossom with the first new shower of rain. Live for the joy of witnessing your parents’ silly banters. Live to listen classic Kishore Da songs with your grandparents. Live for the poetry of life, the music of nature and the romance of simple, everyday living.

All while living your best possible life, remember to Be. Be erratic. Be confused. Be spirited. Be crazy. Be fabulous. Be annoying. Be whoever, whatever and however you want to be.

JUST, BE YOU!